Monument dedication marks Day of Remembrance

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October 13, 2008

BY MARY KAY SWEIKAR The Commercial-News Mon Oct 13, 2008, 12:12 AM CDT

DANVILLE — A special ceremony and monument dedication Wednesday at Sunset Memorial Park, 3901 N. Vermilion St., will give local meaning to National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

A candlelight service memorial dedication will be at 7 p.m. on that day in the Garden of Innocence, at the southeast corner of the cemetery. Attendees should follow the luminaries that will guide them from the cemetery entrance to the site of the garden.

Everyone who attends the ceremony will be given a lighted candle so they can participate in the “wave of light” across the country in honor of all children who have passed away within the last year.

The Rev. Jim Blue, from the Olivet Church of the Nazarene, will conduct a short prayer service. Mayor Scott Eisenhauer will read a proclamation from the City of Danville, and soft, acoustical music will set the tone for the ceremony.

“We want the ceremony to be soft and childlike,” said Mike Puhr, grounds superintendent at Sunset. “After all, it’s the children that we will be honoring here.”

Forty-six area families have received invitations to the ceremony because they have lost a child within the past two years. “But we encourage anyone who has ever lost a child to attend also,” Puhr said. “A parent can still be grieving for many years after the child is gone.

“Parents should look at this ceremony as a time to meet others who have suffered a similar loss, and an opportunity to share their grief with each other,” Puhr added.

Pam Starkey, director of family services at Sunset, said, “Sunset is honored to host the candlelight service in support of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. The Darbys (owners of Sunset) have searched for years to come up with the right kind of monument that would be perfect for this special section of our memorial park. It’s our hope that the Garden of Innocence will bring comfort and peace to the families of the many infants and children who are buried there.”

The monument pictures Jesus Christ cradling a baby as a white dove hovers over them, along with the inscription: “Garden of Innocence.”

“Our intent is for the monument to make this garden a special place for the grieving families to come and be with their deceased son or daughter,” Puhr said.

The area will eventually be fully landscaped with trees, flowers and sitting benches.

For many years, Sunset has offered burial plots at no charge for infants, children and miscarried fetuses.

Puhr said that about 25 infants and children have been buried in the Garden of Innocence every year. Altogether there have been more than 500 burials there.

“I know from personal experience how very difficult it is to lose a child,” he said. Puhr lost his own daughter when she was 15 years old. “We don’t want to compound a family’s grief by charging them to bury their child,” he added.

According to the latest report from the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention, in one year, 983,000 babies died nationwide from miscarriage or stillbirth. These statistics do not include neonatal loss, sudden infant death syndrome, (SIDS), or other causes.

“So many parents suffer in silence and have nowhere to turn after they lose a child,” Puhr said. “These families need to know that they’re not alone, and that miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death are no longer subjects that cannot be discussed openly.”

On the Web

For more information on Loss Awareness Day, please visit: http://www.october 15th.com.

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