BY MARY KAY SWEIKAR
DANVILLE — When Duane Miller of Danville wrote to several women featured in a Philippine match-making magazine in 2002, he was pleased when he received a couple of letters in return.
The one that he liked best came from Erlinita (Ling), a single parent in her 30s with three small children.
“I only put my picture and biography in the magazine after one of my co-workers convinced me to do it,” Ling said, “but I’m glad I did. That’s how I found the love of my life — my husband, Duane.”
Once they got to know each other through letters and phone calls, Duane made the trip to Ling’s hometown in the Philippines, where he visited her for two weeks.
“After my divorce, I decided that if I ever married again it would be to an Asian woman,” Duane said. “When I met Ling, it was like seeing a mirror image of myself. I knew right away that we were meant for each other.”
Because Duane already had two children from his first marriage, he knew that blending his and her families would be challenging. “But I wasn’t prepared for all the paperwork and hassle we had to go through to bring Ling and her children here,” he said.
“It took more than two years to make all this happen. At one point I almost gave up,” he added, “but I’m so glad that I kept on.”
Within a few months, Duane and Ling had fallen in love and decided to get married.
Their blended family of children includes Niño Miller, 10; Ejay Verdijo, 15; Jensy Verdijo, 14; and Evan Miller, 11, who all attend Bismarck schools. Austin Miller, 12, attends school in Homer and lives with his mother.
After waiting for nine months, Ling finally had the physical exam she needed to enter this country. Much to the couple’s surprise and disappointment, tests showed she had a health problem. She was required to stay in the Philippines and take medication for six months before she could join Duane in Danville.
Ling was able to bring only her youngest son, Niño, 4, with her when she first came to the States.
“My Mom was practically raising him over in the Philippines because I had to work such long hours to support the family,” Ling said. She worked in a large store similar to Wal-Mart.
When the father of Ling’s three children died in a motorcycle accident a short time later, Duane and Ling traveled to the Philippines so they could bring her two girls, Ejay and Jensy, back to Danville.
Finally wed
Duane and Ling married in May 2004, surrounded by lots of friends and family in a simple ceremony at their home. The couple incorporated some of the Philippine customs into their wedding ceremony, and the reception featured all the traditional Filipino foods, followed by hours of music and dancing in the garage.
The family lives in the house that Duane grew up in. Duane’s father had to give up the house when he was 19, but Duane was able to buy it back a few years later.
Duane and his boys have learned to enjoy the Filipino food that Ling loves to cook, and banana ketchup and Filipino noodles are regular items on their grocery list.
Duane said that blending the two families of children has gone a lot smoother than he had expected. “We treat all the kids the same,” Ling said, “and everyone has to pick up their room and do their own laundry.”
Ling admitted that she was terribly homesick for the Philippines during her first months in Danville. “It was a big adjustment coming here,” she added. “I missed my friends, my family and my food back home.”
The other part that the Millers didn’t expect to be so difficult was the financial situation. In June 2008, Duane was laid off and couldn’t find full-time employment for another nine months. Currently he’s employed in a job he likes at Quaker Oats, where he works the night shift.
Ling worked at Danville Metal Stamping for two years. But when the opportunity came, she took the voluntary layoff so she could enroll in school to become a nurse.
“It’s still a struggle for me to write and read proper English,” Ling said, “but I won’t give up. I’ve always wanted to be a nurse, and, hopefully, I can make enough money someday so I can bring my mother over here to live.”
Ling became a citizen of the United States last August.
Filipino friends
The Millers live a busy and social life. They have fully embraced the large Filipino community in Danville and participate in their many parties and celebrations, which always include homemade Filipino foods. Another favorite pastime is watching Philippine boxing on TV.
Duane and Ling plan to stay in Danville.
“This is home to me, and I still have my family here,” Duane said. “The only place we would consider moving to would be the Philippines — after we retire.”
Duane has already adopted Niño, but he plans to adopt Ling’s two girls as soon as possible.
“The kids are anxious to all have the same last name,” Ling said.
“You could call us one big happy family now,” Duane said, “and we have lots of hopes and dreams for the future. We worked hard to get to this point, so I’m sure we’ve got what it takes.”
FAMILY PORTRAIT
Family Portrait helps readers get to know their neighbors. If you know a family the Commercial-News should spotlight, contact Editor Larry Smith at 477-5183 or lsmith@dancomnews.com.
